A WORD ON CONVERSATION…

The question may come up, “Why a conversation?” Conversations, really good ones – ones that might last for hours, such as ones that I had with my friends Chris and Trevor when I was at home – are dynamic in nature. They tend to grow and evolve naturally from one topic to the next and, as time passes, you almost feel like you could lose yourself in those conversations. As if they have become a living entity outside of yourself and they are now leading you into areas hitherto unexplored. It is my desire to once again travel through unexplored areas, and that’s what brings me to conversation. I have been away from home for 18 months now. My Father-in-Law, Larry, was right when he said that I “need to reconnect to my roots” and that is another reason for conversation. But being disconnected has had at least one positive result – it provides an opportunity for inward reflection and contemplation. That experience has been very revealing to me. I don’t believe in Astrology, but I always thought it was fun that in the Chinese Zodiac, I was born in the year of the Dragon. Simply out of complete boredom and curiosity, I decided one day to Google my Chinese Zodiac sign. I found out that there is more to this than what you find on placemats in Chinese Restaurants. It turns out I was actually born in the year of the Yang Fire Dragon, according to one system, and there are several other systems as well. In any case, as I looked at the character traits (both good and bad) for the Dragon under each system, I found a theme was developing. Certain traits, particularly the bad ones, began to stand out to me. This was no revelation, of course, but an affirmation of what I was seeing more and more in my times of inward reflection. Some of those traits I was well aware of: Prideful, controlling, and stubborn. Other traits I simply have never considered when thinking about myself, but as I thought about them found them to be quite applicable: Militaristic, rigid, controlling, arrogant, imperious, tyrannical, demanding, prejudiced, dogmatic, over-bearing, violent, impetuous, and brash. The discovery I made in looking at those lists was eye opening. Some of those traits, I’m realizing, while not openly visible, are still there as influential undercurrents. I have also come to see that I am very good at disguising some of them so they are not readily noticeable, even to me. So as I attempt to “reconnect to my roots” through this conversation, I want to do so in a new way. This is one of the unexplored paths that I’d like to muddle through in this conversation, the path of changing certain assumptions and habits, certain ideas and thoughts. The path of finding ways to redirect the undercurrents currently in place and see if I myself could grow and evolve, even as the conversation does, to become a new living entity. That’s a good reason for conversation. A good reason for a new beginning.